Friday, December 13, 2013

Day 12--Florence, Italy

April 30th, 2012

Adieu Switzerland! Italy, here we come! Super long drive this morning and afternoon. I’m personally pissed at the world because Team New Zealand shoved their lame asses up to the front of the line for the bus and each took a seat for themselves. There are 6 of them. When the 4 of us have our own seat, we rotate. 2 of us go solo, the other two share. It’s just so childish that they all scrambled ahead, obviously so, to swipe their own seats. This is why I don’t get along with females, they are too transparent and predictable.

THEN the subject of reading came up and one of the guys told me he thinks a day spent reading is a day wasted. Are you fucking kidding me? I told him, ‘I think it’s the best way to spend a day. Why wouldn’t you want to spend a day enhancing your intelligence?’ Then they all started mumbling so I turned around and shut up before I said something id’ maybe (probably not) regret. Stupid, ignorant fools. People that don’t read or at least appreciate reading, I feel honest pity for. Reading give you stories and experiences of people and situations you would never be exposed to otherwise. You can travel the world and in time without leaving your house. Keep on with your linear one-dimensional experience of life. Have fun. Morons.

Ok, enough with the angry writing, I’m over it…ish. K, so loooong bus ride to Florence. Buon giorno Italia!! Ah! So excited! I felt home. I really did. I was also irritated at everybody on the bus because I felt protective of my homeland. I know that sounds weird but I did. Nobody else knows how much I’ve wanted this or how long I’ve waited for this. I felt it in my soul and my heart and I wanted to hear and know everything Italy has to offer in its history. Becs was talking about how Italians are super family oriented and they Momma runs the household and they have long life expectancies and 600 different words for pasta—all I could think of was, yep that’s about right! I felt so proud to be a part of a nation with such distinct and amazing history. I am home.

And if I wasn’t sure of it before I def felt at home in italy after Pisa. Its in a small square that is walled off in a courtyard and its beautiful! The Leaning Tower of Pisa is gorgeous and just incredible to look at. But the best part was Becs telling us how the Baptistery here has one of the jugs of water that Jesus turned to wine. AND there is building with a cemetery inside that is supposed to have the sand from Christ’s crucifixion, and if you bury somebody in there, the body disappears in 24 hours because of the sand. Goo. I just go chills. I love Italy. I love that we are in a Catholic nation with a huge emphasis on Jesus and spirituality. I cannot gush enough!

Got to our hostel in Florence, or Firenze in Italian, and it has a kickass bar, good drinks—strong—and good food. Run the World was playing when we started actively drinking. Bitch, please. Like that isn’t my favorite song of the moment. It was fate.

Hostel dancing was quite fun. Great jams. T and I did the Dougie and the Crazy in Love dance. Of course, Team New Zealand had to comment and ask why we always knew all the dances?, idk, because we’re awesome? We headed for the karaoke bar after that and the streets were PACKED. It was Notte Bianche (White Night) so everything was open all night long. It was a legit cluster fuck trying to get all these people to the same place. Wall to wall people. Becs said they usually see about 50 people on the walk…there were easily thousands. We finally got there and immediately signed up to sing the only song that mattered…Spice Up Your Life…hells to the yes. Shots tasted awful but were cheap so choking that down wasn’t the most fun. Ick.

By the way, Italian men are aggressive. Fuck. I like an assertive man but this was insane. Keep our hands to yourself, sir and stop being such a creepy bastard. Attention is nice and flattering but whoa. Rachel literally kicked a guy in the sternum. Yes…that happened. The guy made the mistake of saying he thought she was prettier than Teresa so Rachel yelled back, ‘don’t talk shit about my friend!’ and proceeded to kick him in the chest. Well played. We ended the evening with ‘It’s Raining Men’ because some fucking retard jacked Barbie Girl from me. Uh…that was my pick! I was so upset!

Anyways, I lost the other girls at one point and walked home with Becs. She is the best tour guide ever. She is just awesome. Lots of creeps overall for the night though. I think Teresa may or may not have punched a guy in the face at some point…not too sure. Italy must bring out the aggression in everyone, eh? Stumbled in to the hostel at around 4 am…oops.

OMG!! I forgot the BEST part of the night! One of my life’s bucket list check marks has been completed. Drumroll please…I threw some guy The Face…and held it…and it worked!! Jenna Marbles, I thank you! So, here’s the story. Creeper was bothering us, rach tried to throw The Face and couldn’t hold it so I did it. I threw it, committed to it, and the guy totally laughed at first, looked around, and slooooowly walked away. Works every time. Jenna Marbles, you are genius.

Go Florence. Play hard. 

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